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Welcome to Renewal!
e-newsletter of The Centre for Midlife Renewal
Dear Jeff,
This issue of Renewal! is going to press a few days before Labour Day, in that period when people are grasping onto the last of summer, knowing that so much will soon change as we move into fall. A reminder that our lives are filled with transitions, big and small.
The good news: we all have much greater expertise at dealing with transitions than we usually give ourselves credit for. So if midlife transitions are getting you down, you might ask: How have I already handled transitions well in my life? What have I learned from those experiences that might be useful to me now? You'll probably discover you're more of an expert in your own life than you realized!
Thank you, Summer 2010... and welcome Autumn!
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| Knowing What You Want at Midlife
At some point in midlife it's likely to hit you: the sense that you want to make some significant changes in your life, but you just don't know what they are. Whether you're feeling stuck, bored, unfulfilled or oddly adrift, you're ready for a new direction. But which direction to head in?
This uncertainty can be unsettling. For people who've spent many years in their twenties, thirties, and early forties on a clear path --advancing in their careers, raising the kids, paying off the mortgage -- not having a map for the next stage of life can make them feel tremendously vulnerable. ... read more |
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We Recommend... 
If Not Now, When? by Stephanie Marston. In researching this tremendously insightful and practical book, Stephanie Marston interviewed more than 100 women in many walks of life. Her overall finding? That "women experience midlife as a time of renewal and rebirth. Some expressed this more tentatively than others, but almost all characterized this as one of the best times of their lives."
Why? Because, Marston suggests, women finally feel freer to be themselves. "Who am I really? What do I believe in? What's truly important? What is it I want out of life? As I mulled over these questions, I began to realize just how much of my life had been motivated by proving myself, by pleasing my parents, lovers, husbands, child, friends, siblings.... It wasn't until I entered midlife that I realized just how disconnected I still was from my essential self." Mending that disconnection, including facing all the attendant fears, is the journey mapped in If Not Now, When? Although written specifically for women, there is much wisdom in this book for men too. --Published by Warner Books |
Coach's Toolkit
Feeling stale? Tired of the same-old same-old? This is by no means uncommon at midlife. You may also have piled up a stack of "somedays". Some day I'm going to take guitar lessons. Some day I want to learn Russian. The bigger the pile gets, the more stuck we feel, and the less likely we are to do anything about it.
Here are three words of advice: Start. Small. Now.
The key is to begin doing something that feels a little fresh. It doesn't have to be as big as signing up for a series of guitar lessons: maybe spending 20 minutes in a music store looking at guitars would be enough for today. But those 20 minutes would get you started.
One helpful technique is to go on a regular Renewal Date with yourself. A "renewal date" is when you deliberately go out and do something a little different to bring some variety into your life. It doesn't have to be expensive or hugely time-consuming. You might go for a walk in a neighborhood you've never explored before. Attend a concert of a kind of music you don't usually listen to. Try a different type of cuisine.
You can go alone or with a friend... weekly, bi-weekly, monthly... whatever works for you. The important thing is to schedule it in your calendar on a regular basis then make sure it happens.
People who have been on a few renewal dates report that it's amazing how good such an easy activity makes them feel. They get hooked on them.
Try taking yourself on a renewal date. In no time, you'll feel the shift from stale and stuck to inspired and active.
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Something
to Think About
"As life goes on it becomes tiring to keep up the character you invented for yourself, and so you relapse into individuality and become more like yourself every day. This is sometimes disconcerting for those around you, but a great relief to the person concerned."
-- Agatha Christie |
| Ready for a Change?
It's not too early to sign up for the next session of Your Midlife Renewal:
Getting Underway
Join our eight-week program for positive change to get clearer about what's really important to you now and take practical steps toward goals such as:
Career change
Revitalized relationships More life balance
Renewed health
New directions/interests
Greater fulfillment
More fun!
When:
Eight Wednesday evenings:
January 12 to March 2, 2011
7:00 pm to 9:00 pm
Where:
The Centre for Midlife Renewal
310 Danforth Avenue, Toronto
(near Chester subway station)
Cost:
$ 279 plus HST
$45 discount if you register and pay in full by November 1, 2010
Contact usto register today.
Phone 416-466-4944 or email info@midliferenewal.org
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